haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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