i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
