Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
