Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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