After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
