After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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