why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
