I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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