As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Randomize
