And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Randomize
