I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
