omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize