Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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