it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
