y did u give ur computer a hand job?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
