just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
