I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
