so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
