a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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