That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
