I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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