I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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