Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
