Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
People in love make me want to vomit
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
