So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
