Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
