I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
