Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
