When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
