That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
