Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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