i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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