Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
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Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
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Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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