Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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