at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Randomize
