Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
