it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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