You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
