I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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