Dual....:-)
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
