I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience