Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(310): View more from California

Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?

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(310): Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while? http://tfl.nu/my43

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(516): View more from New York

I hate all girls vehemently.

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(516): I hate all girls vehemently. http://tfl.nu/rhf8

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(813): View more from Florida

from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick

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(813): from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick http://tfl.nu/923d

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(317): View more from Indiana

just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.

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(317): just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude. http://tfl.nu/5gs4

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(408): View more from California

I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.

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(408): I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level. http://tfl.nu/k6hr

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(817): View more from Texas

just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.

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(817): just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing. http://tfl.nu/3pw8

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(516): View more from New York

watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...

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(516): watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball... http://tfl.nu/7xuo

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(973): View more from New Jersey

He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'

(973): View more from New Jersey

Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.

(229): View more from Georgia

Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?

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(973): He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass' (973): Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic. (229): Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom? http://tfl.nu/xp9a

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(937): View more from Ohio

you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters

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(937): you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters http://tfl.nu/ru5h

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(604): View more from British Columbia

We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE

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(604): We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE http://tfl.nu/3jc2

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(214): View more from Texas

COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!

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(214): COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!! http://tfl.nu/kzi1

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.

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(570): you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do. http://tfl.nu/t26b

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(773): View more from Illinois

You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.

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(773): You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud. http://tfl.nu/imj6

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(615): View more from Tennessee

How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.

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(615): How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them. http://tfl.nu/5mum

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(216): View more from Ohio

Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud

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(216): Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud http://tfl.nu/kyzh

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