Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed