I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I can't turn off my feet"
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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