You're completely useless in the revolution.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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