Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
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Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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