Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
