dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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