i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
