carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
COCAINE IS GR8
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
