After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
my nose is crying tears of wow.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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