What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
