guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
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