Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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