You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
