i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Randomize
