Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
