Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize