Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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