Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I want her autograph on my taint
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
