I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
