captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
He literally asked permission to hit on me
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
