I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?