Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo