I think my fart just growled at me.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
