apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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