you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
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I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
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You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
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