I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
