Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
