He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
