I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
