with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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