just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
