i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
