I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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