??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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