How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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